Leaving your dog alone
Should I practice leaving without saying goodbye?
Last updated 23 September 2026 · How we write and check this
Short answer
Yes, a low key, almost unremarkable departure generally works better than a long goodbye, since making a big event of leaving can actually heighten a dog's anxiety about it. A brief, calm word or none at all, followed by leaving without lingering, teaches the dog that your departure is not something to worry about.
Why goodbyes can backfire
An emotional goodbye, extra petting, or a guilty tone of voice all signal to a dog that something significant is happening, which can raise arousal and anxiety right before you leave, the opposite of what most owners intend.
What a calm departure looks like
Continue your normal movements around the house, put on shoes and grab keys without ceremony, and leave without extended eye contact or a dramatic tone. Some trainers suggest a single, quiet phrase used consistently, but the tone should be closer to see you later than an emotional farewell.
The same applies to arrivals
A calm, low key return, ignoring the dog for the first minute or two until it settles, reinforces the same message that comings and goings are normal, unremarkable parts of the day rather than events worth getting worked up about.
A note on naturally affectionate households
Some owners worry that a calm departure means withholding normal affection, but this approach is specifically about the moment of coming and going, not about the relationship overall. Plenty of warmth, play, and physical affection at other times of day, well away from the actual transition of leaving or arriving, keeps the bond strong while still giving the dog a clear, low arousal signal around the specific moments that tend to trigger anxiety. Most dogs settle into this pattern within a couple of weeks and stop treating departures as a cue for excitement at all, which is exactly the outcome this approach is aiming for.
Key takeaways
- A calm, low key departure generally reduces anxiety compared with a long, emotional goodbye.
- Continuing normal movements without extra attention to the dog keeps arousal lower before you leave.
- Keeping arrivals equally calm reinforces the same message about comings and goings being unremarkable.